WILSON, TANK AND HAWKS DROP HUNDOS WHILE BARNDAWG MOUNTS LEAGUE AGAIN.

LSU won and the League turned into a Predator scene of points. There was a record-setting 354 points, six converted parlays, six perfectos, 76% won their SEC game, and all five conferences now have new leaders. And, perhaps most astounding of all, Wilson, Hawks and Frank the Tank all scored in the hundreds and moved up a combined sixty spots in the standings. As for changes in the Top10, four new teams found themselves on pay dirt, and for the fourth consecutive week, there's a new leader: that goddamned Dawg.

Once again, the Barndawg marked his territory on the Wuerffel and now sits on top of the League like he did in Week3. The Dawg needed every point of his 83, as Drew Bledsoe in the Hall of Fame now only trails by one point. “DBIHOF” followed last week’s 60 with a 67 and jumped to #2 overall. But, neither #1 or #2 could out blast the 107 issued by Frank the Tank. The rookie moved from #33 to #13, got the conference bonus and quadrupled his sons, #45 Mile High and #46 Hollywood Hussion's, combined weekly scores. Speaking of low places, Urban Cowboy tried to ride a 3-stack against the Lobos but got bucked from #9 down to #19. Former-champ First Lady rode the LSU moneyline all the way to a 71, and moved up 15 spots to #22.

The Urban Heart Division is the best conference in the League. Or, at least you could argue that as #5 NxtLvl, #6 Michigan Hates U, #7 Well Hungarians, and #10 505Chicharito are only separated by ten points. That said, you could also argue the conference is top-heavy, as five teams are ranked #38 or worse. And yes, that includes #50 Head, who hasn’t scored in three weeks. Yes, seriously. Fun fact about Head, if he added his final score from last season to this year’s total, he’d be #15 right now. Hell of a guy, though.

Someone finally decided to do something in the Testeverde Ten, as Hawks emerged with a 102-pointer. His perfecto included a 3-team parlay, two moneylines and a dog game winner that moved him from #30 to #7. Sooners2000 tried to make up for his two no-show weeks and posted a 73 after his 4-team parlay. Jamie O’Hare was all business with an LSU 5-stack and his 55 put him 3.5 points behind Brown Eye, who dropped to #17 after his beloved Nitanny Lions were busted for molesting children. Disgusting, Dave.

After consecutive weeks of 58 and 31, Wilson brought out the even bigger guns and bagged him a 103-pointer ala 4-team perfecto. The eight-year veteran moved from #21 to #3 and took control of the Shapiro All-Stars by seven points. Just below him, Schematic Advantage stayed put at #4 and Double Bird Strike struck again with a 63 to put him at #14. Mormon Whores scored a 39, but still ended up sliding down the poll two spots to #16. Sure looked purdy, though.

High levels of gravity affected play on Planet Weis as Scaga and Team Wigley both fell out of the Top10. Scaga put the farm on SDSU, but Lobos dismembered his counted chickens and left him with only 7. He dropped from #2 to #12. Team Wigley fell from #7 to #11 and now the Planet is the only conference that orbits outside of the Top10. Elsewhere in the conference, the Rum Bomb finally dropped with a 68, but it’s hard to tell its effects on the future. Nonetheless, the impact blasted the cocknosed vet from #36 to #23.

Five weeks remain, Week11 is a Sun Belt week.

Holler with questions.

The Commissioner