THE BARNDAWG IS ONE BAD SON OF A BITCH, RIPS TITLE FROM AIR RAID BY 1.5

As suspected, the CFGL8 Championship came down to the very end. Quite literally. With the night games still in progress, the League title changed hands several times. A for sure pick-6 to cover the over in the Clemson game was erased by a shoestring tackle at the 50 yard line. The tackle killed Michigan Hates U’s perfecto, which would’ve given him the title. Then, minutes later in the Big Ten Championship, Wisconsin converted a Hail Mary down to the 3-yard line on 4th down, which led to a Badger and Barndawg lead. With only a minute left, Michigan St. returned a punt inside the 5-yard line and it looked like Air Raid would take the title. However, a running into the kicker called it back and the Barndawg won and then pissed the carpet. Congrats to the rookie who was able to stay in the hunt all year long by playing aggressive. He held the #1 spot in Week3, Week10, Week13 and then held on by only 1.5 this final week.

Although Air Raid came up just short of the Title he still proved to be the best amongst the talent-rich Shapiro All-Stars as he extended his lead to capture the Conference. #5 Schematic Advantage scored a 60 and held off Wilson for second in the conference but Wilson still moved up one to #7. It’s good to see the 8-year vet get in the money. Please know the League loves you deeply. The All-Stars also got the #10 spot, as Double Bird Strike barely hung on after posting a 25.

The sub-zero temperatures on Planet Weis this year made it nearly impossible for teams to stay hot. But it was ultimately iBlink who generated the most heat by hitting his top 3 games and snatching the most unimpressive Conference Title of the year. Nonetheless, #13 iBlink gets the green. Rum Bomber started off strong, but he lost his 25 game on V Tech and in turn, lost the Planet. While Team Wigley was a fixture in the Planet throne all year long, she only got 2 of 5 and fell to #20 to end the season. The Sooner faithful finished at #13 last year and #8 in CFGL6, making it obvious that ex-boyfriend Hollywood Hussion was the key contributor of her success. Hollywood finished at #42, remaining remarkably consistent with the #23, #37 and #24 of the past three years. However, despite his recent struggles, the seven-year vet won the CFGL2 and his name will forever hang in the CFGL rafters.

Jamie O’Hare went 4 for 5 and lit up the scoreboard with a 70 to win him the Testeverde Ten conference title. Behind him, Coach and Brown Eye fell to the mid-teens after average weeks. After 8 years of practice, Dees Pimpin’ Em finished at #48 but we all know his specialty is Bowl Season. Let’s see if vet has some magic left.

The Wuerffel is now officially Barndawg’s territory after the rookie stayed in mounting position for most of the year. Last year’s Bowl Champion, Mamacita, put together a huge week to win her the conference bonus and shoot up to a tie for #3 with Michigan Hates U. #3 and #4 prize money will be combined and split down the gut. First Lady also got in the green despite the former-champ falling from #5 to #8. Glad that my mom and sister-in-law can continue to participate/humiliate me in the League each year.

Only two teams in the Urban Heart Division walked out alive and Michigan Hates U was one of them as he hit a three-team parlay and jumped up from #13 to tied at #3. He bags the Conference Title from NxT_Lvl who’s 25 was able to keep in the green by only 1.5 points. However, not everyone performed well enough to get paid. Despite the claim of their massive size, The Well Hungarians ultimately came up just short, and finished a ½ point out of the money at #11. Remarkably enough, this is the second year in a row that the Smith trio has finished a half point out of #10. And, in CFGL6, they were #10. They just can't get over the hump. After the disaster, the Left Ball of the dejected Well Hungarians summed it up perfectly, “I don’t know how much ‘good but never good enough’ business I can take.” Just as heart-broken is sure to be Juice who hit a season-high 140 points, yet came up 3.5 shy of #10.

This year was the best regular season yet and the League will only get better. That said, its only half over. Let’s crank up Bowl Season. Rules and lines to be posted soon.

The Commissioner and Deeds.