POWER 5 STACKS FROM HACK ATTACK AND FIRE ANTS SET THE STAGE FOR SEASON9

If you're like me, Saturday was like xmas morning. I didn't leave the couch once other than the 50+ times I had urinate. Week1 was also slow and painful, as the average was 19 pts compared to last year’s 25 pts. Just over half hit their ACC game and only 30% of the League hit their Power Game. Those that were successful relied on a heavy dose of strategy and Carolina Fire Ants and Hack Attack rose to the top of the League by using early Power Weeks and stacking everything on one game. Their monster games give them control in Pete Carroll’s Credit Union and Jerry’s Kids, respectively, earning them the weekly 10 bonus points for highest score in conference play. Last year, Carolina Fire Ants also started strong and was ranked #9 after Week1. He finished #46 out of 50. Just sayin'.

In The Wuerffel (sorry, “Columbus Ink” was a terrible experiment), sophomore team Schematic Advantage splits the conference bonus with UrbanCrierUrbanLiar and they walk away with 5 points each. NxT-LvL also 5stacked his Power Week, but unfortunately for him, he got Vandied. Principessa Wiggles is sticking to her low point Dog Game strategy, as she wins 1.5 pts on Iowa St. Last year this approach paid dividends for her as she finished out of the money by 45, instead of 40.

Over in Urban’s Heart Division, former champ First Lady managed to snake the conference bonus with a 27 pointer. F Nevin Shapiro and RollTideYall put in nice weeks too and are tied at #16 while big-dicked veterans Wilson, Lanny Flaherty (Pinnacle of Male Evolution, The Situation, 505Chicharito), and The Locksmith sandbagged early.

If tradition dictates anything in League play (it doesn’t) than Petrino Hog-Riders may be the cream of the League crop. The conference features veterans like La Maquina and The Holy Trinity as well as champions. Champions like Hollywood Hussion, Boss Bizzem, and multi-year titleholder, father, husband, and full-blown Romosexual; Romosexual.But so far it's Boss Bizzem at the top as he wins his two ACC Power games on Miami.

Defending champ Barndawg finds himself amongst the Shapiro All-Stars but it was a goddamned  P-Horse that bucked around for a conference high 44. This year the Dawg and the Horse will also have to fend off the Deeds, who had his hot week early this year. Dees Pimpin’ Em and Seminole26 round out a conference full of seasoned vets.

Juice1 found himself in the right conference at the right time and snags the Planet Weis bonus with his seemingly unimpressive 24.5 pt week. O-H-I-O! also got back in the swing of things and goes 0 for 6 in a statement week. Look for SCAGA, #Coney2012 and Simon’s Wrecking Crew to make some noise in a conference that’s sure to see Mormon Whores forget their picks at some point.

If you have any questions in regards to scoring, just let us know and we can clear them up with you.

Week2 is a Big East week. If the Big East is your Power Conference, you get two 10-pt Power games.

God Bless,

The League