DEES PIMPIN’ EM PUTS SMACK DOWN ON LADIES, LEAGUE. STREAKY HACKERMAN SHOWS MORE MAN THAN HACK WITH WEEK-HIGH 48.

Week 5 was the biggest scoring week yet with an average score of 22.5 and a 71% success rate in BIG EAST binding games. But the real story was in the CFGL SOUTH as the tricks finally turned for six-year veteran DEE’S PIMPIN’ EM, who got paid 22.5 bonus points on 3 moneylines. He knocks THE FIRST LADY down to #2 and rips the League lead away from her smaller, weaker hands.

Overall, the SOUTH dominated Week 5, with an average of 27.5 points. Four of the top six in the League are from the SOUTH as MAMACITA, THE OVEN and MILE HIGH fight for second in the conference below DEE’S PIMPIN’ EM. In contrast, the EAST averaged only 18.2 and own #33-#37 in the polls. The one bright spot was the conference sphincter BROWN EYE who shat himself with an unexpected 34 and nearly doubled his previous four week total.

The most inspiring week came from League rookie HACKERMAN, who followed up last weeks goose egg with a perfect 5-5. He moves up 17 spots to #10 and proves to League pigs (EAST), that anything is possible in the CFGL.

Amidst the high-scoring were some standard League blemishes. But the most glaring belonged to “Class of the East” BIG DADDY who continued his quest to respect with a no-show disqualification. CORKY MCBUTTS, G.O.W., BUTTERS STOTCH and COACH limped in with seven each. Last and most certainly least, HOLLYWOOD is averaging nine points a week and trails by an astounding 102.

Please note that CHIEF actually took the Texas Tech Over, not the spread, and ended up winning his 3 stack. Sorry about the error.

Any other questions, let me know.

Love,

The Commissioner