FOUR PERFECTOS PAVE WAY TO HIGHEST SCORING WEEK OF SEASON9

Week6 looked more like your daddy’s CFGL as the scoring jumped to an average of over 25 points. And while only 30 teams won Power games and only 31% won their Independent game, there were ten teams that scored over 50 points on the week, including four Perfectos. However,  in 5 out of the 7 conferences, the bonuses were won by teams ranked #34 or worse last week. To truly understand the explosive scoring in Week6, we head straight to the Planet.

PLANET WEIS

On Planet Weis there was a 35.5 point average in Week6 which doesn't bode well for rallying #61 Simon’s Wrecking Crew and #63 #Coney2012. RipperRipski hit a Perfecto. Juice hit a 61. But neither scores were big enough to win the Planet bonus. And that’s because after a week of lying dormant, the Beast Infection is back. Not only did he hit a Perfecto, he also won his dog game, giving him 75 points on the week and putting him back at #1 in the League. 

THE WUERFFEL

The Wuerffel is also a scary place to be as big scores were everywhere in Week6.  Last week’s leader Schematic Advantage scored a 35.5. Principessa hit a 50 point 5stack. Nittany Lyin got a Perfecto. But in the end it was SOFFOCONE’s 3stack moneyline winner on West Virginia that scores him 76 total points. The monster week takes the CONE from #61 to #36.

PETE CARROL'S CREDIT UNION

In Pete Carroll’s Credit Union, Beaver Believer put his faith in USC and fell out of the conference lead as Michigan Hates U scored his second straight 31. And as much shit as we give people for small dog games, COL Touch Down hit 2.5 points on Florida and won the conference bonus because of it. COL jumps from #34 to #20. Despite being the only conference without a top10 representative, the PCCU remains competitive and every team except #67 Hawks is in striking distance of the money.

PETRINO HOG RIDERS

Boy does that Hollywood Hussion like to ride that Pac12 ween. Unfortunately this week’s Power 5stack on USC loses him conference lead. He drops to #13 after five weeks atop the Hog Riders. The Thursday night oversight opened door for the consistent play of #9 Coach, who takes the conference lead by 4.3 points. But the real story this week was The Holy Trinity who 4stacked their beloved Ohio St to a conference high 45 points - their highest scoring effort since last year’s Week2 Perfecto.  Elsewhere in the conference, #47 Romosexual was all mas suave with a 35 and #42E Mugs continues to move up with this second nice week in a row. 

JERRY’S KIDS

Jerry’s Kids may have found the consistency and structure it's desperate looking for as #5 Bull Rob leads for the second straight week . But it was last week’s #68 that struck the hardest as Double Bird Strike scored 59.5. and grabs the conference bonus. The win puts the Bird at #51. Frank the Tank has his second nice week in a row and makes it three Hussions in the top #32. At the bottom Victorious Secret, Head Honcho and phuckfantasy are involved in a three-way at #58.

SHAPIRO ALL-STARS

“I’m gonna grind everyone up in the long run… the Dawg is defending his title fiercely!” Despite the loud bark texted from defending champ Barndawg earlier in the week, his Week6 bite was far less threatening and his 14 points drops him from #2 to #6. He stays in humping position of the rest of the All-Stars but #want creeps from #16 to #8 with a big time 35.5. Deeds and welchtwins sit #10 and #12 respectively but it was last week’s #60 iblink who brings home the bonus and the envious #49 spot. Dees Pimpin Em moneylined a Power 5stack on his beloved Hurricanes and drops from #31 to #48 while the much faster, stronger, and less-arrested Irish climb to #7. 

URBAN’S HEART DIV

Shitfaced at a bar after a long day of “drink when the Irish score,” the Locksmith’s bloodshot eyes squinted up at the TV and watched Washington punch in a seemingly meaningless touchdown with :30 to go. However, the cheapie prompted a Locksmith Perfecto and subsequent celebraish that left him unconscious on his urine-soaked sheets. He remains atop the conference that had 31 point weeks from #16 RollTideYall, #18 First Lady, #22 Sic ‘Em Dawgs and #45 Turd Ferguson.