WEEK 9 PICKS

 THE HOLY TRINITY -2.5 G.O.W. OVER/UNDER 40

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  THE HOLY TRINITY


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  G.O.W.


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  OVER


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  UNDER

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DON'T BE A VICTIM

Commissioner,

This will serve as my first complaint, written of course for evidence in the future. Your inaccurate ruling on the 20 point bonus is a schmockery, of the league, its participants, and most of all the power we have all trusted in you as our commissioner. One cannot help but draw from your ruling that your personal gain, position in conference is being threatened. You see, with the additional 20 points that we deserve, we climb right smack dab in front of who else, the commish.. I am requesting, no urging that an additional 20 points be place in our total points column. If I do not see these points arrive by midnight tomorrow, Oct. 21, The Trinity will be forced to pray unto “THE FRONT BUT” fumbles, interceptions, and utter chaos as his season unfolds in the hands of The Pickling Clawson.

Signed,

THE (of the holy trinity)


*THE RULES STATE QUITE CLEARLY THAT "GOING 5 FOR 5 IN A WEEK (NOT INCLUDING YOUR DOG GAME) WILL GET YOU A 20 PT BONUS." FOR THOSE CONFUSED, THAT DOESN'T MEAN WINNING 4 GAMES. IT MEANS WINNING 5 GAMES.

WEEK 9 SPREADS (MTN WEST)

TUESDAY
E CAROLINA -4
@MEMPHIS 48

THURSDAY
N CAROLINA 43
@V TECH -17

FRIDAY
W VIRGINIA -3
@S FLORIDA 48

SATURDAY
RUTGERS 47
@UCONN -8

NC ST 63
@FLORIDA ST -8

CINCI -16
@SYRACUSE 51

NM ST 49
@OHIO ST -42

PURDUE 53
@WISCONSIN -7

OHIO -7
@BALL ST 44

UL LAF 56
@FIU -4

INDIANA 48
@IOWA -18

AKRON 42
@N ILLINOIS -11

OLE MISS -4
@AUBURN 50

NEBRASKA -14
@BAYLOR 45

S MISS 63
@HOUSTON -7

MISSOURI -4
@COLORADO 47

SMU 53
@TULSA -17

W MICH 50
@KENT ST -3

SAN JOSE ST 56
@BOISE ST -35

UAB 64
@UTEP -7

CAL -7
@ASU 52

GEORGIA 48
*FLORIDA -17
(*@ JACKSONVILLE)

ARK ST 51
@LOUISVILLE -4

C MICH 51
@BC -6

MIAMI -7
@WAKE FOREST 52

TOLEDO -5
@MIAMI (OH) 56

IOWA ST 60
@TEXAS A&M -7

DUKE 47
@VIRGINIA -7

MICHIGAN -8
@ILLINOIS 53

KANSAS 66
@TEXAS TECH -8

TEMPLE 40
@NAVY -7

UCLA 48
@OREGON ST -10

W KENTUCKY 65
@N TEXAS -11

AIR FORCE -4
@COLORADO ST. 45

MTSU 65
@FAU -1

UNLV 57
@TCU -34

HAWAII OFF
@NEVADA -27

PENN ST -15
@N’WESTERN 47

LA TECH 56
@IDAHO -3

UTAH ST 63
@FRESNO ST -17

E MICH 61
@ARKANSAS -37

MISS ST 46
@KENTUCKY -4

KANSAS ST 47
@OKLAHOMA -26

UL MONROE 58
@TROY -17

GA TECH -12
@VANDERBILT 46

NEW MEXICO 51
@SDSU -17

WASH ST 60
*NOTRE DAME -29
(*@SAN ANTONIO)

S CAROLINA 40
@TENNESSEE -6

TEXAS -10
@OKLAHOMA ST 52

TULANE 45
@LSU -35

MICH ST -5
@MINNESOTA 46

WYOMING 43
@UTAH -17

USC -3
@OREGON 47

MARSHALL 43
@C FLORIDA -4

AFTER WEEKS OF HOLDING IT IN, THE BROWN EYE EXPLODES WITH 63.5 POINTS. LA MAQUINA’S POORLY PLACED POWER WEEK EXPOSES HIS GAMBLING PROBLEM.

Week 8 was the highest scoring week this year with an average just over 25.5 points. That was in large part in due to perfect weeks by BROWN EYE, HAMMES and MAMACITA. But it’s also been consistent play from new NORTH leader FLUNO and THE HOLY TRINITY that have scores skyrocketing. The last two weeks FLUNO has gone 6 for 7 in regular games while averaging 42 points. THE HOLY TRINITY is 7 for 9 with an average 34 points during that same span.

In the Pig EAST, CFGL shit-stain, BROWN EYE, squeezes into the top position as lackluster play continues to kill the conference. Most notably, LA MAQUINA squandered a two 10-point game opportunity for his Power Week. Clearly two 10-point games don’t satisfy the kind of action he needs to feel alive. If you're feeling pressure and consumption of gambling addiction, please email your Commissioner immediately.

On the cold side, G.O.W. has just 14 points since his 58 pointer two weeks ago. MORMON WHORES is also in bad shape as inter-team conflict has them at the bottom of the NORTH and #35 overall. CORKY MCBUTTS relies on a sentimental Colorado pick to pull her through her woes. Needless to say she’s still in the weeds. HOLLYWOOD is back on the very bottom and averages just over 12 points per week.

To help with scoring this week, you’ll notice that yellow type in a victory denotes a 10 pt Power game. FLUNO and THE HOLY TRINITY failed to qualify for the 20 pt Perfect Week bonus because they stacked Iowa and won only 4 games, and not 5.

Love,

The Commissioner

WEEK 8 PICKS

WEEK 8 SPREADS (BIG 12 WEEK)

It's a BIG 12 Week which means we'll have a bunch of people with two POWER GAMES. Big week.

So you'll need:
1 POWER GAME
1 BIG 12 GAME
3 OTHERS

1 DOG GAME


Wednesday
TULSA -7.5
@UTEP 59

Thursday
FLORIDA ST 48
@N CAROLINA -2.5

Friday
RUTGERS -9.5
@ARMY 39.5

Saturday
INDIANA 54.5
@N’WESTERN -5

C MICH -7.5
@B GREEN 61

MINNESOTA 43
@OHIO ST -18

S FLORIDA 48.5
@PITTSBURGH -7

G TECH -4
@VIRGINIA 47.5

UAB 52
@MARSHALL -7

UCONN 47
@W VIRGINIA -7

ILLINOIS 53.5
@PURDUE -10

ARKANSAS 53
@OLE MISS -5

IOWA ST 52
@NEBRASKA -19

OK ST -9.5
@BAYLOR 53

COLORADO 50
@KANSAS ST -4.5

N ILLINOIS -10.5
@MIAMI (OH) 46

BALL ST -3
@E MICH 47

MARYLAND 55.5
@DUKE -5.5

KENT ST 47
@OHIO -10.5

BUFFALO 51
@W MICH -5

LA TECH PICK
@UTAH ST 54

PENN ST -4.5
@MICHIGAN 48

AKRON 47
@SYRACUSE -9.5

C FLORIDA -10
@RICE 52

OREGON -8.5
@WASHINGTON 52

TENNESSEE 43.5
@ALABAMA -16.5

LOUISVILLE 53.5
@CINCI -18

OKLAHOMA -7.5
@KANSAS 54

CLEMSON 44
@MIAMI -5

N TEXAS 57
@TROY OFF

BC 55
@IRISH -8

WAKE FOREST
@NAVY -2.5

W KENTUCKY 52
@MTSU -18

SDSU 52
@CSU -8

AIR FORCE 41
@UTAH -9.5

IDAHO 67
@NEVADA -15

WASH ST 58
@CAL -35.5

FL ATL 58.5
@UL LAF -3

UCLA 49.5
@ARIZONA -8.5

UL MONROE 52
@KENTUCKY -16.5

VANDY 39
@S CAROLINA -12.5

TEXAS A&M 69
@TEXAS TECH -22

TEMPLE 55
@TOLEDO -2.5

IOWA -1.5
@MICH ST 43

TULANE 53
@S MISS -21.5

FL INTL 56
@ARK ST -11

FLORIDA -22
@MISS ST 48

SMU 68.5
@HOUSTON -17

TCU -2
@BYU 50

AUBURN 50
@LSU -7.5

TEXAS -13
@MISSOURI 50

OREGON ST 50
@USC -20.5

UNLV -2
@NEW MEXICO 56.5

ARIZONA ST 48
@STANFORD -6.5

FRESNO ST -24
@NM ST 55

BOISE ST -24
@HAWAII 57

HEAD DETECTIVE PROVES HE'S A BONA FIDE DICK WITH 63-POINT PERFECT WEEK. DEE CONTINUES TO PIMP ‘EM AND STAYS AT #1 WHILE FLUNO FLAUNTS A FRICKIN' 46.

In Week 7 the League averaged just over 21 points and converted over 57% of CUSA games. Boosting up the scoring average was HEAD DETECTIVE who scored a perfect week and moves passed FIRST LADY in the WEST and up to #2 overall. DEE’S PIMPIN’ ‘EM stays on his grind and delivers another stinging blow while cruising through the “pride of the League” SOUTH. FLUNO finally gets loose and jumps 17 spots up to #14. Six of the League’s top ten are in the SOUTH.

SEMINOLE26 chops down PRIMETIME and takes the top spot in the dismal EAST. CINDERELLA STORY is hot once again and grabs the NORTH top spot as baby daddy G.O.W. shits himself with a 7. THE DRAGON fires up a 31 and stands only 5 points back in the conference.

There was also some pretty pig play in Week 7 as well. MR. KASEY JOHNSON highlights the hoggery by blaming his email for not delivering his picks. Perhaps he’s not as dependable as the Johnson family once thought. You hurt my baby sister and I will end you. WILSON and DEEDS got their picks in on time, but unfortunately for them, it didn’t make one bit of goddamned difference. CRAB MONKEYS FROM SPACE was on his own planet again and turns in a Wednesday game late Friday and fails to pick a Power Game. HONK finally hits rock bottom.

Any questions, let me know.

Love,
The Commissioner

WEEK 7 PICKS

FOR THE GOOD OF THE LEAGUE

Thanks to those that lost the Boise -9 game last night. 70 points lost overall.

WEEK 7 SPREADS (CUSA WEEK)

It's a Conference USA Week so you'll need to pick:
1 Power Game
1 CUSA Game
3 Others

1 Dog Game

TUESDAY
ARK ST 53
@UL MONROE -3

WEDNESDAY
BOISE ST -9
@TULSA 55

THURSDAY
CINCI -3
@S FLORIDA 49

FRIDAY
PITT -3
@RUTGERS 46

SATURDAY
LOUISVILLE 47
@UCONN -11

N’WESTERN 52
@MICH ST -12.5

WAKE FOREST 49
@CLEMSON -7

OKLAHOMA 51
TEXAS -3.5
(@ DALLAS)

IOWA 48
@WISCONSIN -2.5

B GREEN -3
@BALL ST 55

OHIO ST -14
@PURDUE 48

GEORGIA -7.5
@VANDY 45

MISS ST -4.5
@MTSU 55

ARMY 39
@TEMPLE -9.5

UAB
@OLE MISS -22

MIAMI (OH) 50
@OHIO -14

WYOMING 45
@AIR FORCE -10.5

NEVADA -10
@UTAH ST 63

CAL -3.5
@UCLA 44

ARKANSAS 56
@FLORIDA -24.5

NC ST 50
@BC -2.5

RICE 55
@E CAROLINA -18.5

TX TECH 61
@NEBRASKA -10.5

MINNESOTA 50
@PENN ST -16.5

MARSHALL 53
@W VIRGINIA -20.5

AKRON 45
@BUFFALO -9.5

C MICH -6.5
@W MICH 58

USC -10
@NOTRE DAME 48

HOUSTON -17
@TULANE 66

VIRGINIA -3.5
@MARYLAND 50

KENT ST -6
@E MICH 52

CSU 45
@TCU -22

HAWAII 59
@IDAHO -10

STANFORD 53
@ARIZONA -5

V TECH -3
@G TECH 51

NM ST 45
@LA TECH -20

BYU -17.5
@SDSU 55

UL LAF -7.5
@W KENTUCKY 52

KANSAS -9.5
@COLORADO 56

BAYLOR 53
@IOWA ST -2.5

FL ATL 59
@N TEXAS -2

TROY -10
@FIU 56

TEXAS A&M -5.5
@KANSAS ST. 59

MEMPHIS 54
@S MISS -13.5

N ILLINOIS -4
@TOLEDO 59

ILLINOIS -2
@INDIANA 53

KENTUCKY 57
@AUBURN -13.5

MIAMI -15
@UCF 47

S CAROLINA 46
@ALABAMA -17

NAVY -7.5
@SMU 57

WASHINGTON 47
@ARIZONA ST -6.5

MISSOURI 57
@OK ST -7

SAN JOSE ST 56
@FRESNO -19

UTAH -16.5
@UNLV 60

CHANGE OF GUARD IN THE NORTH AS G.O.W. GETS ALL PERFECT AND SHIT. EASY MONEY MOVES UP 10 SPOTS AND CONTINUES HOT STREAK.

Week 6 was a good time to move up in the rankings as the average score was just over 19. G.O.W. was the big story as his 20 pt perfect bonus puts him atop the North and up 20 spots to #5 overall. Previous NORTH juggernauts CINDERELLA STORY and MR. KASEY JOHNSON go south and allow the likes of EASY MONEY to slip in to conference contention.

The top 3 stays the same as League giants PIMPIN, FIRST LADY and MAMACITA stay consistent with scores in the 20’s. The EAST finally shows some life and scores the highest of the conferences with impressive performances from SEMINOLE26, LA MAQUINA, BLUE and BROWN EYE.

Thanks for your patience. Any questions, just let me know.

Love,
The Commissioner

WEEK 6 PICKS

*some of the spreads may not be copied right on this spreadsheet. I'll use the posted lines to check all final games. thanks.

WEEK 6 SPREADS (INDEPENDENT)

Week 6 is an Independent week, which means you need to bet the Army or Navy game since Notre Dame is off this week. So you'll need:

1 Power game
1 Independent game
3 others

1 Dog game.


THURSDAY
NEBRASKA -3
@MISSOURI 52

FRIDAY
LA TECH 58
@NEVADA -10.5

SATURDAY
AUBURN -3
@ARKANSAS 65

MIAMI (OH) 54
@N’WESTERN -20

PURDUE 53
@MINNESOTA -3.5

W VIRGINIA -10
@SYRACUSE 55

BC 44
@VTECH -13.5

VANDERBILT -11
@ARMY 38

MICH ST -4
@ILLINOIS 54

E MICH 52
@C MICH -23

GEORGIA 47
@TENNESSEE -2

OKLA ST OFF
@TEXAS A&M OFF

HOUSTON 69
@MISS ST -1

IOWA ST 55
@KANSAS -19.5

KENTUCKY 45
@S CAROLINA -10

BALL ST 47
@TEMPLE -13

NEW MEXICO 46
@WYOMING -10

OREGON -6.5
@UCLA OFF

ALABAMA -6.5
@OLE MISS 45

WISCONSIN 48
@OHIO ST -16

BAYLOR 55
@OKLAHOMA -23.5

UCONN 45
@PITT -8

NAVY -11.5
@RICE 52


INDIANA 46
@VIRGINIA -6.5

BOWLING GREEN -3.5
@KENT ST 51

MARSHALL -4
@TULANE 48

DUKE 55
@NC ST -14.5

ARIZONA ST -21
@WASH ST 47.5

OHIO -4
@AKRON 52

UTAH -7.5
@CSU 52.5

MARYLAND 51
@WAKE FOREST -11

STANFORD -1
@OREGON ST 49

N TEXAS 53
@UL LAF -5.5

KANSAS ST 58
@TX TECH -16

W MICH 60
@TOLEDO -7.5

FL INT -3.5
@W KENTUCKY 54

COLORADO 60
@TEXAS -32

S MISS OFF
@LOUISVILLE OFF

TCU -10
@AIR FORCE 43.5

G TECH 54.5
@FLORIDA ST -2.5

IDAHO 52
@SAN JOSE ST -4

FLORIDA -8.5
@LSU 45.5

UTAH ST -12.5
@NM ST 52.5

UTEP -2.5
@MEMPHIS OFF

MICHIGAN 48
@IOWA -8

E CAROLINA -6.5
@SMU 51.5

ARIZONA -3
@WASHINGTON 52

BYU -17
@UNLV 61

FRESNO ST -9.5
@HAWAII 59

DEES PIMPIN’ EM PUTS SMACK DOWN ON LADIES, LEAGUE. STREAKY HACKERMAN SHOWS MORE MAN THAN HACK WITH WEEK-HIGH 48.

Week 5 was the biggest scoring week yet with an average score of 22.5 and a 71% success rate in BIG EAST binding games. But the real story was in the CFGL SOUTH as the tricks finally turned for six-year veteran DEE’S PIMPIN’ EM, who got paid 22.5 bonus points on 3 moneylines. He knocks THE FIRST LADY down to #2 and rips the League lead away from her smaller, weaker hands.

Overall, the SOUTH dominated Week 5, with an average of 27.5 points. Four of the top six in the League are from the SOUTH as MAMACITA, THE OVEN and MILE HIGH fight for second in the conference below DEE’S PIMPIN’ EM. In contrast, the EAST averaged only 18.2 and own #33-#37 in the polls. The one bright spot was the conference sphincter BROWN EYE who shat himself with an unexpected 34 and nearly doubled his previous four week total.

The most inspiring week came from League rookie HACKERMAN, who followed up last weeks goose egg with a perfect 5-5. He moves up 17 spots to #10 and proves to League pigs (EAST), that anything is possible in the CFGL.

Amidst the high-scoring were some standard League blemishes. But the most glaring belonged to “Class of the East” BIG DADDY who continued his quest to respect with a no-show disqualification. CORKY MCBUTTS, G.O.W., BUTTERS STOTCH and COACH limped in with seven each. Last and most certainly least, HOLLYWOOD is averaging nine points a week and trails by an astounding 102.

Please note that CHIEF actually took the Texas Tech Over, not the spread, and ended up winning his 3 stack. Sorry about the error.

Any other questions, let me know.

Love,

The Commissioner

WEEK 5 PICKS

DEEDS in a Power Week.