Week Five Pick Sheet (C-USA)

HACK ATTACK PUTS DAWG IN HIS PLACE. PERFECTO DOUBLES POINT TOTAL IN BLINK OF AN i.

The frenetic pace of the first three weeks finally slowed down in Week 4 as the League average was 24.5. Half the League hit their Big 10 game, 56% hit Power Games and it was a helluva week to make up ground in the 50 team grind. For the fourth week in a row we have a new leader, as Hack Attack hits 5 of 6 and moves from #4 to the penthouse. Things heat up (not really) in the battle of the Hussions, as #45 Hollywood pulls ahead of #46 Mile High and #47 Frank the Tank. Earlier in the week, Rum Bomb exploded to the media about eliminating Power Week 5-Stacks. Then, while his judgment was still cloudy, he picked SDSU +10 and ultimately dropped to #24. Concerning Power Weeks, please note that you can moneyline, parlay or get a perfecto to win more points than a Power 5-stack. If you’d like to join in the discussion, let us know and we’ll invite you to Rum Bomb’s CFGL Facebook group where we’re sure to discuss the removal of SDSU from future League picks.

Planet Weis
On Planet Weis, iBlink scored three more than his first three weeks combined as his perfecto 75 lands him at #3. He moves all the way into the top 3 from #27, proving it only takes one big week to get back in the hunt. The perfecto gives iBlink a boost to the top of Planet Weis as #11 Team Wigley goes 2 for 6 and falls from the Top 10 after her stunning Week1 69. After Deeds sat with the big boys in Week3, he bets his heart on an Irish 3-stack and his incredible streak in the Top 10 comes to a dramatic halt at one. He falls down to #14 but is only 26 points away from capturing the Planet.

Urban’s Heart Division
After last week’s 17, the Well Hungarians continued to hang half-mast as they posted a 20. Despite the performance problems, they still hold their position at #2 in the League while leading Urban’s Heart Division over #7 Juice and #8 NxtLvl. Last year’s champ, Primetime, woke up some echoes and moved up twenty spots to #18. He split the conference bonus with Head, who finally exited his ass, with a power week 40.

The Wuerffel
With the League’s top spot, Barn Dawg got overly aggressive and lost his 3-team parlay, compliments of the Irish. Barn Dawg’s 10 point week drops him to #6 in the League and second in the Wuerffel as the Hack Attack takes over. The Attack is the 4th leader through four weeks and holds a 13-point advantage overall. Past champions Urban Cowboy, Mamacita and First Lady have a long way to climb to get back to the glory.

The Shapiro All-Stars
The Shapiro All-Stars are the best overall conference in the League and averaged 30 points this week. #4 Hammes and #5 Schematic Advantage are tied a top the talent-heavy conference, while Mentally Dernarded got burned again by picking against Dernard. However, his 26-pointer moves him up one in the rankings to #9. Double Bird Strike moves up to #10 and represents the fourth All-Star in the Top 10. Then, on the next floor down, it was Wilson getting hot with a 43, moving him from #39 to #19.

Testeverde Ten
The Testeverde Ten is pretty bad. This week, Mr. Kasey Johnson tried to submit his picks at 3pm ET on Saturday, while voluntarily “forfeiting” his Power and Conference game. The League reminded him about the 12pm ET Saturday cutoff, and ultimately he forfeited all of his picks. I can only hope he’ll be more reliable when he marries my sister. He falls from #50 to #51. Sinners2000 didn’t feel worthy enough to submit Week4 selections either. He now finds himself wasting away in the League bowels amongst Drunk Sailor, the Hussions and the orphan. After a week off, #12 La Maquina comes back and collects the low-hanging conference bonus with his 31. The Testeverde Ten is the only conference without a team in the Top 10.

Lemme know if you have any questions. Next week is a CUSA week.

Love,
The Commissioner

WEEK 4 PICKS

Week Four Pick Sheet

BARNDAWG GETS ALPHA ON THE LEAGUE. HAMMES HAMMERS HAM INTO WEEK3 HYMEN

It was a monster week for points and if you didn’t score more than 28 points, you were on the ass end of The League. Speaking of ass-end, Head and Mr. Kasey Johnson continue to take up space in the League basement. Despite Head’s 31, he only gained position over Mr Kasey Johnson, which doesn’t seem like that sweet of a place to be. Brothers, #45 Mile High and #47 Hollywood, continue to own the mid-forties. Their dad, Frank the Tank, one-ups his boys, literally, as he clocks in at #44, after dropping fifteen spots from last week. La Maquina works against himself and drops from #6 to #16 but still leads the Testeverde Ten, which is now the only conference without a team in the top 10.

Hammes put together a perfect week 68 and jumps twenty-five spots to #6. The League will never forget his 3 perfect-weeks during the dangerous 2008 campaign in which he won a CFGL championship. In other Shapiro All-Stars news, Schematic Advantage holds court at #8 while Mentally Denarded drops from #5 down to #10 after a mediocre scoring.

In the Wuerffel, Barndawg hunts down the SDSU/Wash St over with a power 5-stack and hangs a 60 pointer on that ass. The rookie is the new League leader and averages over 44 points a week. He holds off the Hack Attack by 19 who drops from #2 to #4.

The swelling has reduced for the Well Hungarians but they’re still 12.5 bigger than the rest of Urban’s Heart Division. Nxt-LvL moves up thirteen floors from #16 to #3 with the trendy Power 5-stack on LSU. The Tigers win the League 132 points overall. Juice explodes for 37.5 but drops one in the conference and two in the league to #5. Friday night, O-H-I-O! saw The Commissioner out and comped him drinks and dessert for the good of the League. Saturday night, the League comped back with a 20 point dog game, which turned out to be +16 spots in the standings as he's #14 now.

Meanwhile, on Planet Weis, #7 Team Wigley goes 5 of 6 and maintains control of the lackluster conference. On the brightside of the Planet, we did get to witness the end of a very long cycle. Not only does Deeds hit a 3-team parlay and move from #35 to #9, he also breaks into the CFGL Top 10 for the first time since December of 2008. For those scoring at home, that’s 30 straight weeks of abysmal foresight and intuition. I can’t imagine the absolute humiliation, dejection and severe self-doubt that’s involved with a streak like that. These past couple years must have just been awful. So, on behalf of the entire League, “Huge accomplishment and a real great week, guy!”
Betting against the Lobos won 111 more. There were 70 points won on Oklahoma and a bunch of suckers lost a combined 70 points on Michigan St, as Notre Dame dominated them in every aspect of the game.

This next week is a Big Ten week. If the Big Ten is your Power conference, you have two 10-point games. Let us know if you have any questions.

The Commissioner

Week Three Selections

Thanks to all for getting picks in on time.  Week three started fast on Thursday with a big LSU cover.  Don't forget that you can follow all the action live on Twitter at
http://twitter.com/#!/CFGLseason8

Have a great Saturday.

Love,

Deeds and Commish

Week 3 Spreads (BIG EAST)

THE WELL HUNGARIANS FLASH A BIG RAGING PERFECTO. HACK ATTACK JUMPS 30 SPOTS UP TO #2 AFTER A POWER WEEK 5-STACK

The League average drooped from 25 pts to just under 23. However, not all scores were flaccid. Well Hungarians not only blow up with a perfecto, but they also get their dog game. The 6 for 6 week puts the trio on top of the League with a 28.5 point lead. Plus, their beloved Ohio St got a huge W versus Toledo. Meanwhile, #4 Juice and #10 Chicarito505 are making the Urban Heart Division competitive. #50 Head, however, is not. After hanging a 0 after last week’s 7, he now hangs at the bottom of 49 other members.

Mentally Dernarded hangs on to the conference league and a #5 ranking despite scoring only 7 and betting against his alma mater Michigan in the “I'm Contemplating Suicide Game of the Week.” Only Notre Dame can lose like that….and you’ll never be able to take that away from us. Schematic Advantage, formerly 2DFN, jumps from #40 to #8 with the help of the conference +10.

Texas doesn’t cover and Jamie O’hare doesn’t hit his perfecto. He has 31 but #12 Brown Eye slides in and out with the conference +10 for a 51.5 point week. However, #6 La Maquina leads the Testaverde 10 by ten.

For those that still don’t know what a Power Week is, #2 Hack Attack sets a perfect example of how to have a real goddamn peach of a week. Once a season you can pick all 5 power games worth 10 pts each. He put them all on Stanford and it proved to be a good one. He takes over the Wuerffel and leads the #7 Barndawg by 10.

Hollywood Hussion is twice as good as Team Wigley this week who scores only 7. However, last week’s perfecto keeps Wigley at #4 and she still leads Carolina Fire Ants by 17 over on Planet Weis.

Some other fun little gems from the weekend:

* Utah blocked kick TD return that should have meant a cover on the last play of the game, except asshole USC players from the bench run onto the field and they disallow the points. Good coaches win, Great coaches cover.

* Missouri/ASU finish for half point no cover

* Dog game winners by Auburn and Michigan both last plays of the game to win

* The League makes the Iowa/Iowa St. game something to care about. Iowa St. impacts 18 scores in The League

* Tweet of the week: @CFGLseason8"Coaching" from the booth w/out a headset makes me question the "coaching" part, JoePa.

When looking at scoring some Players had the Big 12 as a Power Conference for a second 10 points point game. They are: 505 Chicharito, Air Raid, Aunt Betty, Cinderella, C'mon Rookie, Sinners2000, Wigley, Urban Cowboy.

Let us know if you have any questions. Spreads out on Monday.

The Commissioner

Week Two Picks

Picks for week two are above.  Please also look for an email inviting you access to live scoring updates on the Google Scoring Document.  Also, follow today's action on Twitter at  http://twitter.com/CFGLseason8.

Enjoy week two and all of its offerings!

Week Two Pick Sheet

Please use the form below to submit your picks for week two. Enjoy your week.

WEEK 2 SPREADS (BIG 12 WEEK)

Here are the spreads for Week 2. It's a Big 12 conference week. As a reminder, if the Big 12 is your Power Conference, you get two 10pt Power games from the Big 12.

9/8 THURSDAY
ARIZONA 65
@OKLA ST -14

9/9 FRIDAY
MISSOURI 53
@ARIZONA ST -7.5

FL INT’L 50
@LOUISVILLE -4.5

9/10 SATURDAY
OREGON ST 57
@WISCONSIN -21.5

IOWA -6.5
@IOWA ST 44

C MICH 47
@KENTUCKY -13

SAN DIEGO ST -9.5
@ARMY 55

TOLEDO 50.5
@OHIO ST -19

MISS ST -7
@AUBURN 55.5

RUTGERS 48
@NORTH CAROLINA -10

NO ILLINOIS -6.5
@KANSAS 60

UTEP 53
@SMU -20

CINCINNATI 53
@TENNESSEE -7

TULSA -13
@TULANE 63

V TECH -20
@E CAROLINA 64

NM ST 51
@MINNESOTA -20

HAWAII 51
@WASHINGTON -6.5

NEVADA 63
@OREGON -26

CALIFORNIA -6.5
@COLORADO 48.5

STANFORD -21
@DUKE 59

ALABAMA -10
@PENN ST 43.5

TCU -2
@AIR FORCE 49

NC ST -2
@WAKE FOREST 50

PURDUE -1
@RICE 51

SO MISS -8
@MARSHALL 53

S CAROLINA -3
@GEORGIA 51

TEMPLE -15
@AKRON 45

FRESNO ST 50
@NEBRASKA -28

VIRGINIA -7
@INDIANA 55.5

BYU 48.5
@TEXAS -7

UAB 53.5
@FLORIDA -23

BALL ST 50.5
@S FLORIDA -20

NEW MEXICO 53
@ARKANSAS -36

UNLV 56
@WASH ST -14

UCONN 44
@VANDERBILT -2

UTAH 53
@USC -8.5

BC 44
@UCF -7

NOTRE DAME -3.5
@MICHIGAN 55.5

SAN JOSE ST 48
@UCLA -21.5

FAU 50.5
@MICH ST -33

MEMPHIS 54.5
@ARK ST -14.5

HOUSTON -22.5
@N TEXAS 64

NAVY -10
@W KENTUCKY

GA TECH -11
@MTSU

LA LAF 52
@KENT -9.5

TEAM WIGLEY RUBS A PERFECT 69 IN EX-BOYFRIEND HOLLYWOOD’S FACE. MENTALLY DERNARDED IS BRILLIANT IN WEEK 1.

In Week 1, the average points scored was 25 and 72% of the League won their ACC games. Attached you’ll find Week 1 results, the CFGL Top 50 and the conference standings.

The 5 conferences of 10 teams each are:

The Shapiro All-Stars

The Testaverde 10

Planet Weis

The Wuerffel

The Urban Meyer Heart Division.

These were some of the Week 1 top winners:


Maryland +187.5
Florida St +100
Oklahoma +83
LSU +10


For the good of The League, here were the big losses:


Oregon -167
TCU -66
Notre Dame -52
Purdue- blocks a MTSU field goal as time expires to cockblock a 18 pt Dog Game win for Deeds

Team Wigley was the big winner this week as she gets all of her picks right and wins a perfect week +20 and +10 for the most points in the conference for the week. This will be the first year that Team Wigley (aka “McLovin’s Pink Oven”), and Hollywood Hussion, (aka “McLovin”) will compete as estranged lovers. Hollywood clocks in at #40 after the Lobos cover. Wigley will have to contend with SCAGA, Rum Bomb, Bizzem, Deeds and second-year man Carolina Fire Ants for the conference title.

“The Holy Trinity” opt to change their name to The Well Hungarians but still end up short of the conference bonus. We’ll see if replacing the Lord for a dick joke will improve their scorer this year. Veteran Juice beats ‘em out by a point and a half and takes down the +10 bonus. Last year, Juice came in at #29 as Dr. GreenThumb.

Speaking of doctors, “The Shaman” is now licensed and returns as The Doctor this year. He’s projected to contend for the Shapiro All-Stars title along with 8-year veterans Wilson and Hammes. However, it was rookie Double Bird Strike that takes the conference for the week. He was a Syracuse tie (3pts) away from a perfect week +20.

Rookie Barndawg hit 4 of 5 to win the +10 bonus in The Wuerffel. Unfortunately, he’s fallen into a conference snake pit of former champions like Mamacita, First Lady and multi-champion/ambassador/CFGL legend…. Urban Cowboy (aka Prestige Worldwide aka Honk). Also in The Wuerffel is Mile High, who finished in the top five last year.

Consummate professional and 8-year veteran La Maquina delivers a 41 and sets the pace in The Testaverde 10. Coach, and rookies Twin Sons and oklahoma2000, are just behind Maquina. Finally, congrats to risk-takers Simon’s Wrecking Crew and oklahoma2000 for their 1 point Dog Game wins on LSU +1. Way to grind it out, guys. Remember, there is no 7 points for a Dog Game win. you only win the points you give up. Let us know if you have any questions. This next week week is a Big 12 Confernce Week. Week 2 Spreads to be sent out tomorrow. The blog will up and running soon.



Love, The Commissioner